Sometimes Being 'Positive' is Just RUDE!

Why do some people seem to go out of their way to make others feel frustration, discomfort, or anxiety?

In early July my family and I went on a four day vacation and stayed at a Bed and Breakfast that was built in the 1840s. It was a very fun place with no phones, no television, and no internet. Like all my vacations I turned my cell phone off. It was a nice break and felt a little bit like going back in time.

One morning we were having breakfast and the staff had cut up a very nice fruit cup and put a dollop of yogurt on it. I would have preferred it without the yogurt, but it was a nice addition to the continental breakfast.

I heard the staff member offer a fruit cup to a lady nearby and she said "No." Even my four year old daughter has learned to say "No, thank you", but I really didn't pay much attention until I heard the staff member ask "Are you sure?" and the lady looked at him and said, with spite in her voice "I'm positive".

Is it really that hard to say "No, thank you. It looks wonderful, but I just won't be eating it." It seems simple enough. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive.

I would imagine that the lady didn't consciously set out to be rude, but sometimes we are so in the habit of speaking in certain ways that we don't even notice how we sound. A good friend of mine and fellow performer told me that for almost a decade he worked in what he called "an environment of exteme emotional toxicity", and he assured me that if I had known him at that time we would not be friends.

He said it was quite surprising to him how much his attitude and outlook on life changed for the better when he finally quit and went to work as a performer.

--Julian Franklin
www.JulianSpeaks.com